• (3) How Many Similarities Lie Between Us? (Updated)

    July 8, 2025
    Blog
    Photo by Ernad Pandzic on Pexels.com

    I am half sitting half lying on the window bed of a hotel facing the vast sea writing these words.

    My cousin and I just finished a half breakfast after a cloudy morning walk across the little touristic town lying along the sea.

    At first I found myself tying the headline “She is my daughter, how I couldn’t recognize her?” I had intended to write the third entry about a recent incident at the airport between me and my cousin.

    She is lying on the bed next to mine, checking her phone notifications.

    “No, I should write similarities between him and me. I always find it fun and emotional to write about my crush than my cousin.”

    She and I bursted out laughing following my declaration of changing the writing topic.

    “I will tell him that.”

    I started noticing how similar we are since that noon when we had an unexpected chat after you finishing the examination for me.

    That was one of the best chats I ever had with someone still a stranger in my life. Only in 30 minutes, I recognized we shared a few similarities in personalities.

    More than a year passed since that day.

    Let’s see how many similarities we share, which you may be unaware of. Perhaps, you don’t know how similar we are because I excel at hiding my feelings for you whenever I meet you.

    1. We are single.
    2. We love biking.
    3. We love reading books.
    4. We love vegetarian food.
    5. We love taking photos.
    6. We love visiting pagodas.
    7. We love travel when we have time.
    8. We put our families first.
    9. We are the eldest child in our family.
    10. We have only one sibling – a younger brother.
    11. We love our younger brothers a lot.
    12. We graduated from college the same year.
    13. We are Master’s degree holders.
    14. We studied overseas, almost the same year.
    15. We came from the same city.
    16. We can speak English.
    17. We use English at work.
    18. We have cars and our own homes.
    19. We choose peace over dramas.
    20. We prefer private life.
    21. We have round faces.
    22. We were born with single-lidded eyes.
    23. Our teeth aren’t milky white and we let them be.
    24. We tend to smile with closed lips.
    25. We wear short-sighted glasses.
    26. We don’t care about our white hairs.
    27. We are said to have weird personality.
    28. We were born into low-income families.
    29. Our exes hailed from affluent families.
    30. Our childhoods filled with struggles.
    31. We are the breadwinner in our families.
    32. We worked with big names in our industries.
    33. Our jobs involve meeting people from all walks of life.
    34. We don’t look at our phones on hanging out with friends.
    35. We prefer to pay bills when we share meals with friends.
    36. We don’t have a lot of friends.
    37. We have close friends from high school.
    38. We were divorced and haven’t been remarried.
    39. We chose to end our unhappy marriages.
    40. Our exes left us for another person.
    41. It took us long to get over divorce.
    42. We stay silent when fighting our own battles.
    43. We are iPhone users.

    These are just the similarities on the top of my mind. I will update this list when I recognize more similarities. I believe if we step closer, more similarities will be seen by me.

    (*Note: This is the third posts of the 1,999 posts I targeted. There are 1,997 posts to be completed before the deadline of December 20, 2030).

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  • (2) “Why You Leave Me for Heaven?”

    July 7, 2025
    Blog

    One day in May, I played Buddhist instrumental songs on YouTube for my mom to listen after her doctor advised to cut back on her television watch. Mom at her 70s tended to watch TV hours sitting in a close distance as I usually saw through the camera.

    That was the first time she listened to that kind of music.

    The morning that followed when I returned to her home, I asked if she loved that meditation music and if she wanted to listen to it again.

    She said yes and that she enjoyed listening to it but she couldn’t control her tears while listening to that music the day earlier.

    Out of the sudden, she bursted into tears and cried as a baby.

    “I saw you were flying to Heaven. I asked ‘Why you left me for Heaven?”

    “I flew to Heaven because you loved me less than you loved my younger brother.”

    I tried to calm her down but she cried even more, which made me nervous.

    I told her when I first heard the powerful chants sung by monks during a meditation course a few years ago, I also bursted into tears uncontrollably.

    I shared that experience with one of the senior monks at the center. He said that was a natural response as my ancestors existed in my blood and they may have got emotional after hearing the Buddhism chants for the first time or they hadn’t heard the chants for a long time.

    Mom was still crying and kept saying “Why you left me for Heaven?” over and over.

    I started getting terrified when she said in her tears that when she was young, she saw two relatives die in her dreams, that became true a few months later.

    What she just said rang true to me.

    Some two weeks prior, I dreamed seeing my sole uncle’s wife passed away. I shared that dream with Mom without mentioning the aunt-in-law, just “someone on your side.”

    I remembered that was Friday afternoon. Two days later, my uncle told me the wife of my mom’s cousin, whom I also called uncle, kicked her bucket on Saturday. He asked if I would like to join him to visit the funeral.

    When I met that uncle in his wife’s last wake, I asked if his wife had got any serious disease. He said she passed out during dinner and was brought into hospital but it was too late.

    Back to the talk with my mom – when she was sitting on a white plastic chair next to the TV set and I was kneeling trying to calm her down by saying I was still there and I always put my well-being first.

    As an effort to understand what Mum said, I scheduled a call with her doctor. After listening the whole story, he said Mom had shown signs of cognitive decline, and what I shared was another sign. He also said if my Mum talked about seeing my flying to Heaven again, I could say “I fly to Heaven to prepare for your coming.”

    This bit of advice did worry me, especially from someone who had a good command of Buddhism.

    Since I have tried to find the meaning of what Mom said. I keep wondering if that means something to me.

    Since I have seen myself crawling back to the recurring depression.

    (*Note: This is the second post of my 1,999 posts I targeted. I have 1,998 entries to be completed before the deadline of December 20, 2030).

    “Acceptance, tolerance, bravery, compassion. These are the things my mom taught me.”
    – Lady Gaga

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  • (1) You visit me in my dream

    July 5, 2025
    Blog


    Never did I dream of a day I would sit across from you, look into your eyes, see your smiles and share dinner with you in a cozy restaurant picked by you.

    Never did I expect you to invite me to dine with you and your close friends.

    That early evening, my driver dropped my cousin off at the restaurant before he and I headed to have dinner following a 7-hour drive from my hometown.

    While our car made a turn a few meters from the restaurant, I heard a knock on a side window. I turned and saw you, my cousin and another friend of yours standing on the curb.

    Out of the blue

    Everyone looked fresh and well-dressed.

    You stood out with a horizontal striped, blue T-shirt. You looked serene as you always do.

    As I never expected to be invited to join you guys, I hadn’t showered after arriving at the hotel. And of course, I hadn’t dressed up either.

    I was still dressing down in old, black and white pants with countless letters on them, an old ivory T-shirt with stains on the front covered by an old Golden Gate sweater I have been wearing since 2017.

    One thing I noticed my sweater color matched that of your T-shirt.

    Nearly five months moving back to my rural hometown after years of living in big cities, I find myself wear casually unfashionable clothes – most of the time, I look more like a village girl.

    When I lowered the window and asked if my cousin left something in the car, you walked closer and invited me to join the meal. I thanked you and replied I was dining with the driver and my cousin hadn’t said anything about my being invited by you.

    Your friend said you did count me as your guest on reserving the table. You and your friend asked me to let the driver handle his meal across the street because there were a bunch of eateries there.

    Because I hadn’t been invited, because I dressed in an ugly fashion, I hesitated to step out of the car after apologizing the driver for changing the plan. At the same time, I found it hard to turn down a chance to dine with you for the first time.

    You have been close friends with my cousin since high school.

    You have taken care of my mom’s heart problem after the Parkinson’s medication she had taken for nearly a decade nearly killed her early last year. She has recovered well since. I told you and my cousin I couldn’t thank you enough for that.

    I always called you “doctor.” I always dressed nicely whenever mom and I visited your hospital. You addressed me as “miss” except a few months ago, you called me by my first name in your text replies, which has perplexed me.

    Photo by Min An on Pexels.com

    Royal family diner

    When we went inside, my eyes were fixed on a well-set table with four wooden chairs in the middle of the skylight-cover room. A few steps away stood a sizeable Zen landscape wall fountain with colorful LED lights.

    That was our table. You came to sit down on the chair across from your friend. My cousin gestured me sitting next to you. Despite knowing what she meant, I walked around and sat next to your friend, who I had met last year when I picked up my cousin at a cafe.

    My cousin got seated next to you and across from me. No other arrangement was more perfect than that, as I believed. I was afraid I couldn’t have comfort if seated right next to you.

    Soon savory dishes picked by you were served on the table. For the first time in my life, I – who has been known in the family for big appetite -pecked at a meal as if I stemmed from a royal family.

    I could tell how hard my cousin, who kept putting food into my bowl, was striving to suppress her laughs on seeing how graceful I was when I slowly put tiny pieces of food into my mouth.

    A lot of laughs and stories were shared along the way as you caught up on one another. I was a listener most of the time. I refused most of the portions offered by your friend.

    When you guys were laughing, you may not have noticed I were also peeking at you.

    Since my mom and I first met you at the hospital, the heart of mine has skipped its beat whenever I see your calm smiles, most of them with closed lips.

    For the first time, I saw you laughing and how comfortable you looked whenever you smiled or laughed. You didn’t talk as much as your friend and my cousin did during the meal.

    You asked me once to hand my bowl to you to put the soup in. You were not cold as you looked in the hospital.

    That was the first time you called me by my first name in person. That was also the first time I met you outside the hospital.

    When the dinner was about to come to an end at past 9 p.m., you excused yourself from staying to the end after coming to the cashier to pay the bill. You said you had to pick up purchased stuff for your kids in Australia, before your long-awaited trip two days later.  

    Soon after you left, my cousin and I said good night to your friend as well. We arrived at our hotel apartment at past 10.

    After a long day, all I wanted to do was to hit the hay right away.

    After-credit scenes

    Though it was late, I told my cousin I should text and say thank you to you for the dinner. I preferred not to delay my thank-you till tomorrow.

    “Many thanks for inviting me the yummy dinner today, doctor! Have a wonderful trip in Australia!”
        
    I called it a night soon after I hit “send” the message. I thought the beauty of the day would end there.

     Never did I know the universe would offer me unexpected after-credit scenes.

    “Help me out, cousin! Your friend entered my dream,” I said right after I climbed on her bed in the morning that followed.

    “That was the first time I saw him in my dream.”

    She smiled and then repeated her speech of how gentle and kind you are, how dutiful and considerate you are to your parents and your sole brother and that you are cold but kind.

    When she asked me what I saw in the dream, I changed the topic. I wanted to keep those movielike scenes for myself only.

    After leaving her room, I checked my phone and saw your reply to my thank-you message 9 hours prior, which means you responded soon after my message reached your phone.

    You never replied that fast! I never expected to get your reply that late.

    I rushed back to her room: “Cousin, no more one or two words in response from your friend!”

    “What did he say?”

    “Not at all. Thanks for your regards. Have a beautiful trip with your niece!”

    “You see, he did notice what we said during the dinner about our coming vacation with your returning daughter.”

    I walked out and started preparing for our trip to the airport to pick up her returning daughter, who would land before 10.

    Since we met her daughter, we checked in restaurant after restaurant in town and ended up visiting your friend’s home before having dinner with him at my favorite Pizza eatery.

    After two nights in the city, yesterday I arrived home nearly 9 p.m. Weary after a drive from noon, I managed to unpack all the bags but the biggest one.

    Soon after lying down on my bed, I saw myself get up and write down on my journal with the last entry dated on May 5:

    “Thank you for inviting me for dinner and visiting me in my dream!”

    “Don’t ignore your dreams, in them your soul is awake and you are your true self.”

    ― Bangambiki Habyarimana, Pearls Of Eternity          


    (*Note: This is the first of my 1,999 posts I aimed to write and publish in the next 1,999 days. There are 1,998 posts to be completed before the deadline of December 20, 2030.)

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  • Can I Write Daily in 1,999 Days?

    July 3, 2025
    Blog
    Photo by Ylanite Koppens on Pexels.com

    Hello everyone, Lavender Papaya is my pen name. I created this blog to form a daily writing habit that I kept failing over and over.

    I know from my heart how much I love writing and there is so much I want to express through writing. I do believe writing can help me in various ways.

    Still writing has never been on the top of my daily priorities. Writing is more like my sweetheart but I never find time for that person.

    Through this blog, I would like to put an end to that bad habit from today, Saturday July 05, 2025.

    I would like to know what happens if I manage to sustain the daily writing over the next 1,999 days.

    I would like to know if I would still be alive through December 20, 2030.

    I will punish myself by writing two entries for any day I miss the writing commitment.

    “Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on.”
    – Louis L’Amour

    How long are 1,999 days from July 05, 2025?

    I Googled that question and Google came up with this answer:

    “1,999 days from July 05, 2025 is approximately 5 years and 5 months. More precisely, it extends to December 20, 2030.”

    With you as my accountability partner, I believe I will stay on track in my daily writing journey through that date.

    Before I conclude this introductory entry, which I don’t count as my first post, I would like to express my sincere thanks to those who happens to see and read my blog. Many thanks for your visit!

    If my post does relate to you, kindly let me know in the comment section or by emailing me at lavenderpapaya.garden@gmail.com.

    I’m looking forward to hearing from you or any comment you may have.

    Lavender Papaya

    “My aim is to put down on paper what I see and what I feel in the best and simplest way.”

    – Ernest Hemmingway

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